


Flying Bones

by CrystalEmerald77



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Agender Frisk, Drunken Shenanigans, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Female Reader, Fluff, Flying, Humanity Is Stupid (sometime's), M/M, Magic, Post-Pacifist Route, Reader-Insert, Skeleton Puns, Skeletrash, Teacher Reader, i am garbage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-16 19:53:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5838853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalEmerald77/pseuds/CrystalEmerald77
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Ever since the monsters came out of the mountain, there have been people like you being turned into the station here. It's nothing new. I've never encountered a flying one before, but hey the job always keeps me on my toes." If he noticed the way you bristled when he called you 'a flying one' like some object, he didn't let on. "I am going to have you fill out some paperwork, but I'm going to be brutally honest with you--you're going to have a tough time of it." He turned, and walked out of his office, leaving you in a mess of trepidation. 'What could he possibly mean?' He returned a few minutes later with paperwork in his hands. It was a good thing too, you felt yourself rise a couple inches out of the seat, but you must have been too exhausted to do more. "Alright. I'll need you to fill these out, and then you'll be on your way to Mt. Ebott."</p><p>Wait, what?</p><p>"Hold on just a minute sir?! I don't understand?"</p><p>"Well see, this is how it is. We have no where else to train you to control that magic stuff, but the monsters are familiar with it. Until you are deemed safe to return back to society, we send magic-users like you there."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Day You Made The Janitor Pee His Pants

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! Please love the skeletrash fic. I own nothing, except you the reader muhahahahaha.

When the monsters came out of Mt. Ebott, it was probably the worst best day of your life. You just didn’t know it yet. 

It was a normal few months after for you. A new semester had started, and you were going to teach your Life through Time class for the very first time, and pray to the Lord above that your thesis would write itself. It was the normal drag for you; the new monsters hadn't arrived in mass to the university you attended and taught at, and you rarely thought outside the realm of the campus grounds, so it didn't bother you too much. You saw some around the city when you went shopping, but you quietly went on with your day. They never bothered you, and so you returned the favor.

It was a bright and sunny day today, and you planned to make the most of it. Most mornings began as usual for you. There was plans to make a full breakfast that immediately got canceled when you woke up late to head to class, bleary eyed, and barely presentable. You stood in front of the mirror staring at yourself, questioning why you were never quite able to break the old, lazy habits you had from when you were an undergrad. It might be because you were rather young to be doing this. Most of your advisers hadn't recommended that you headed to graduate school right out of your undergrad, but for some reason, you felt time was catching up to you. It was a rather unreasonable thought--you were around a couple years younger than most of the other graduate students. 

It was this youth and inexperience your students could sense when you first walked into class Monday morning to hand out the syllabus, sighing loudly at the less than subtle muttering about your age. You were older than them dammit, no matter how short and baby faced. 

Coughing, you made the class come to a conversational halt. "Alright class. I'm going to be your professor during this course for this spring semester. You may call me Ms._______." There was a general increase in whispers. "What? She's not even got her PhD?" "Heard it was her first time teaching all by herself." "Is this BIO103?" Some snickers arose, and you fought to maintain control over your rising temper and embarrassment. 

"As some of you are well aware, this is my first time teaching a class by myself, but I do have experience as a TA of this class. I enjoyed this class immensely, and had a great respect for the previous professor. I expect y'all to act accordingly, do I make myself clear?" There was dead silence in the class as you regained control with a veiled threat. A loud clank towards the front broke your concentration. 

"Ma'am can you get my pen?" A young twerp, barely out of the pubescent phase many idiots went through was pointing towards a single black pen, inches away from your feet. You felt your eye twitch.  Bending over, you balanced on the balls of your heels, feeling very self conscious. This student obviously wanted some show. Well you were going to give it to him. 

"Catch."

The boy barely had time to react before the writing utensil struck him hard in the forehead, leaving a prominent red mark. Oops. You didn't mean to hit him that hard, but the look he was sending your way made sure you knew you were going to regret it. "What the fu--"

He paused, as many of the students laughed uproariously. He flushed a crimson red, sinking in his chair to pout. 

The reading of the syllabus went well after that, you even made it into the bulk of the main lesson. You discussed the history of paleontology, and the big theories behind it. At one point, you handed out a small skeleton of a mouse. It was mounted on velvet, and was of a rare species. However, it was easy for students to identify, and pass around, so you let them at it, and continued on with the lesson. The time to let them go would be in five minutes, and you had managed to hold down a full seminar of over a hundred students by yourself. Overall, you were quite proud of yourself. 

C R A C K 

You felt, more than heard the crunch as it reverberated on the floor, and made its way to you with all its shocking glory. It was like a piece of you broke when you saw the tiny bones scattering across the floor in shattered fragments. The skull split in two and looked forlornly up at you. 

"Sorry ma'am, I'm a bit of a klutz." The same kid as before sat in his chair, smiling smugly back at you. Rendered mute, you gathered as many pieces as you could, crouching down to reach a couple ribs, and a tiny, toothpick thin femur. You couldn't hear nothing but the steadily rising static in your ears as your previously faded anger climbed.

Straightening to your full height, you let out a trembling voice. "Class is dismissed early." The students shocked into silence before, exited just as quietly. The boy laughed, and grabbed his bag. You wouldn't stop him, it was the first week of class. You would just remove him from your class roster, and explain what happened. After all, you were the professor now. What you said went. You only just noticed that tears were slipping out of your eyes, dragged by gravity to the ground below landing with a pitter-patter against the tile. 

See, specimens, especially yours were precious. You had to go on an internship to Australia for the poor mouse, and it took days for you to find one because you weren't quite up to killing a live one, unlike the other paleontologists. It had been alive when you found it, barely. You tried nursing it back to health, only for the small creature to take its last shuddering breaths in your hands. It was so disrespectful, so rude to submit the creature to being a specimen, then to only have it crushed. 

Your anger and grief continued until you reached the restroom, wanting to escape the curious stares and murmurs in the hallway. You needed a moment, just a small one before you headed back to your office and put all of this behind you. Part of you wanted to go back and strangle the kid, but another part of you felt guilty for hitting him in the head with a pen. The strangle part was winning out though. Turning on the faucet, you splashed water on your face, willing yourself to calm down. 

Surprisingly, it didn't work. Your hands were shaking. 'Was this what an anxiety attack feels like?' You were panicking, your heartbeat speeding up, adrenaline and something more wild flowing through your veins. 

"OH MY GOD!!!" A loud, earsplitting feminine scream filled the air. Head whipping to the source, you noticed a fellow graduate student standing in the doorway to the restroom, mouth agape, eyes bugged out. You glanced around, wondering what she was freaking out about. 'Have I gotten taller?'  Huh. Well might as well plaster on a fake smile, and get over this stupid shit day. "Hey Sara! How is the megafaunal research going?" 

Sara spun around and ran, arms going up in a comical way, looking like wet noodles. Weird, but she'd always been overtly shy. 'That reminds me. I have some Alfredo waiting for me in the office. I'm actually kinda hungry.' Grinning, you turned back to the mirror to check that your tears had dried up before heading out. There was a small problem though. There was no mirror there.  Frantically, you looked everywhere for it, before you recognized the reflective surface at your feet. Wait...so was the sink. 

_ You were flying.  _

You let out a muffled gasp before giving yourself a probable concussion as you hit your head against the ceiling. 'Ouch, well that's going to leave a goose egg.' It felt like you were floating off, body sliding against the piping above you, before you heard the door open again.

"There she is! Get her down." Apparently, there was no need to because in a few seconds of an awkward staring contest between you and the janitor, you fell to the floor with a crash. 

* * *

 

 

"So tell me ______, how long did you know you could do magic?" 

You glared at the police officer who was looking at you as though you were a hardened criminal. What crime had you ever committed? Setting off the fire alarm because you accidentally left your spoon in with your soup?

"I just found out today sir." The officer sighed, looking like he had better places to be. "Look ma'am, I just need to clarify some facts. I realize it's through no fault of your own that this is happening to you."

Curious, you cocked your head at him. "What do you mean?"

"Ever since the monsters came out of the mountain, there have been people like you being turned into the station here. It's nothing new. I've never encountered a flying one before, but hey the job always keeps me on my toes." If he noticed the way you bristled when he called you 'a flying one' like some object, he didn't let on. "I am going to have you fill out some paperwork, but I'm going to be brutally honest with you--you're going to have a tough time of it." He turned, and walked out of his office, leaving you in a mess of trepidation. 'What could he possibly mean?'  He returned a few minutes later with paperwork in his hands. It was a good thing too, you felt yourself rise a couple inches out of the seat, but you must have been too exhausted to do more. "Alright. I'll need you to fill these out, and then you'll be on your way to Mt. Ebott."

_ Wait, what? _

"Hold on just a minute sir?! I don't understand?"

"Well see, this is how it is. We have no where else to train you to control that magic stuff, but the monsters are familiar with it. Until you are deemed safe to return back to society, we send magic-users like you there." You collapsed back into your seat, your spirits deflated tenfold. You were so close to getting your thesis written though (Ok, so that might be a lie, but still), and you had your whole life here, not on some Mt. Ebott. 

"Is there any other option, anyway I could stay here?" The officer shook his head, looking at you with what you felt was mock pity. Maybe it was the fact you were associated with monsters now, but you got the distinct feeling he didn't like you. "Alright, um...how long do I have before I leave?"

"You leave tomorrow. A police officer will escort you home, and stay on guard through the night in case there are any...incidences." You groaned. This day was incidence enough. Hey, you didn't have to imagine anymore. Maybe you'll just float into the sky, far, far away. 


	2. The Day You Noticed a Rainbow Outside the Window, But You Couldn't Tell Anyone

'I hate my life.' The thought kept crossing your mind in the police car to your house, but it was now screaming as you were locked into an anchor-like object. It attached to your ankle, and looked like it belonged on a ship rather than on you. The officer seemed nonplussed, and stared smugly at her work. 'At least I got a female cop.'

"So uh...can I pack my stuff?" The woman started at your question, as though she had forgotten that you were capable of speaking. "Oh, I guess that...would be a hindrance right?" She laughed jokingly, and got the keys from her pocket. "Here, I'll unlock you for now, but any funny business and it'll be back on in a heartbeat."

The lock came apart with a click, and you rubbed your throbbing foot. 'Would this be what my life is like from now on?' You imagined yourself dragging the anchor around with you when you were 80, and the idea was so cynically hilarious, you guffawed, leaning over to clutch your stomach.

The police officer looked at you like you had grown two heads.

"Um...I'm just going to go get some stuff from my room. How much can I bring?" The officer paused, thinking. "People rarely get passes to leave Mt. Ebott. I would bring as much as you can pack." You sighed, your despondent spirits sinking lower. "Any limits?" The officer shook her head. Well you didn't have that much anyways, but it never hurt to ask. You had already gotten the idea that you couldn't bring your specimen collection. "Don't worry so much, the rest will be put in storage. You can have it sent to you."

That did raise another question. "So my apartment?" You asked, afraid to end the inquiry, leaving the awkwardness of it hanging. The officer briskly replied, "The lease will be broken. You'll have to pay the charges for that." There were so many more questions such as: 'My school?' 'My thesis?' 'My job?' 'My life?', but you couldn't put voice to them knowing that they would be answered with a decisive negative. Your life here was over. Being a recluse in the Paleontology CAT Lab was over, for that was your normal. The thought left you feeling very lost and empty. 

You trekked back to your room, gathering up clothes, and necessities. You heard a call from the officer, telling you that she was going to give you two hours before the anchor thing would be attached back to your leg. She called it a 'brace'. It didn't matter, your thoughts were dark, and you were thinking of every way you could get out of this situation. Maybe giving the officer the slip? Flying as far as you could, and then running from there. You were on the fifth floor, it would be impossible to get down the stairs without the officer seeing. No, you couldn't control your newfound powers anyways.

You resigned yourself to following along with what they wanted for now. Perhaps once you got to Mt. Ebott, it wouldn't be too bad. You might even like it, you heard the area around the mountain was beautiful, untouched by people for hundreds of years. That was another thing--you never really put thought to the monsters besides mild fascination. What were they like? Would they be nice to you? 

The folding and packing ended quick enough, and before you slipped into bed, the officer refastened the brace back onto you, making sure it was uncomfortably snug, as though you might think to remove it. It made you want to laugh--how much danger to society did you pose anyways? A girl unable to keep herself from flying into the night sky. Maybe when you combusted exiting the atmosphere, little burning pieces of you would rain down upon the whole city. 'Well, that's a sobering thought if I do say so myself.' 

Sleep came easy. You noticed it with surprise. It felt like you had hit a metaphorical wall, and in a way you had. The swirling blackness welcomed you, and you followed it. 

* * *

 

There was a prison bus outside of your apartments, and for the first time since you moved into the building, your neighbors paid attention to you. The gazes of curiosity and fear followed you, only being fueled as the officer rolled your brace behind you. It was too heavy to lift. 

You were loaded into the bus, and the first thing you noticed with some relief were the bags to the back, yours being the biggest. There were two other passengers in the bus besides you, a tall and bulky male who appeared to be asleep, and a small boy with chains wrapped around his entire torso, and a small ball gag in his mouth. He only looked twelve at most. The sight made you look away. Obviously, you weren't the worst off. 

You looked at the other man, trying to see if he would wake up if you slid in the seat behind him, but you tensed back, shocked to see an IV running down both arms. He was being sedated. 'So this is what they do to the ones who are actually dangerous.' You thanked the lucky stars that you just got stuck with floating into the ceiling, because anything more could've resulted in what was in front of you. 

The ride was terribly quiet, only stopping once for a bathroom break, and a change of drivers. No food was offered. The other two couldn't eat for reasons, and you were almost thankful. Eating in front of the boy would make you cry, and salty sandwiches weren't really your thing. 

You noted that scenery outside the window was gradually turning more wooded, and less urban. A lone mountain loomed in the faint distance, taunting you with anxious feelings, swirling inside you. You could feel yourself lifting again, but you stayed firmly tethered to the ground by the brace.

Eventually, the bus stopped. Ushered off by the cops, you stepped in line with the boy who stood next to you, struggling to keep himself upright with the chains wrapped around him. "So glad to see you're all here." The officer laughed at his own joke, made to get a jab at the still unconscious man left on the bus. "Down to business. Sargent Gonzales, take the kid with you. Even the monsters won't want that thing wandering around freely." Sargent Gonzales you assumed, roughly dragged the boy off. You heard his wails ringing in your ears, fear stirring inside you like a dust storm.  

"You." Your head snapped up from the ground where you had been focusing most of your attention. "Yes sir." The officer grinned maliciously. "How polite. Look here sweetie, I am not your friend. If my job didn't entail for me to be courteous, I would be sending all of these monsters back under the mountain, and you freaks along with them. As it stands..." 

The man looked you up and down, sending creepy shivers over you. "Your new monster guardian is coming to pick you up. Here's your things." The officer chunked your bag at you, and laughed when it knocked you over. "You need to report to the station every two months for status updates. Good luck! Heard that human flesh is a real monster delicacy." The officer laughed again before getting back in the bus. The engine started, and the bus pulled out of the parking lot, away from you.

_You were all alone, but nobody came._

It was well after dark, and there was no sign of your supposed guardian. It was cold, and heck, it would have just got more ironic if it started to rain. As it was, you were having to stop yourself from crying in frustration. The stupid brace was still around your leg, and you couldn't go anywhere, even if you tried. 

"Hey punk, what are you doing sitting out here? It's freezing." A loud feminine came from behind you. You looked, and saw a fish-like monster, standing with her arms crossed. She looked angry you decided. 

"I-I can't really get up you see." You gestured vaguely to the brace around your leg. The fish woman walked over to you and whistled. She had really nice hair you thought. You wished yours could be that red. "Wow you must be the one they told me about. ______ right? Here let me get that off you." She made to remove the brace, but you tensed. "Um...please don't take it off." You were in pain, but the thought of floating away in the dark terrified you. She glanced at you before shrugging. "Whatever you want." You were suddenly swung over a shoulder as she lifted you, brace and all. 

"Wait! Put me down!" You screamed, struggling to escape the woman's grip. The woman grinned, chortling. "You're light as a feather." You sighed, noting that she had no trouble carrying you. "Can you at least tell me your name?"

"The name's Undyne punk. This is going to be awesome!" 'At least she's enthused' you thought a little ruefully. "Hey, so where are you taking me?"

Undyne seemed to be even more excited by the question as she flexed her arm underneath you. "You're coming to live with me punk!" She was so excited by the prospect, you didn't have the heart to voice your concerns. Instead, you were carried turbulently down the sidewalk by your new roommate. You could only hope that monsters didn't in fact like eating humans. Somehow, you knew if they were all like Undyne you would be perfectly alright. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woot woot! Another chapter finished! I can't promise one every day, but I can certainly try. 
> 
> A/N: So continuing from last time: 
> 
> Yeah, we do in fact use CAT scans on bones we want to get internal images and mapping on. Paleontology sure has come a long way from going around, and seeing a dinosaur skull sticking out of the side of a mountain. :D


	3. The Day You Made A Skeleton Question His Usefulness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You readers still belong to me. That is all.

It didn't take too long for Undyne to make it to a modest house. From the outside, you noticed an overabundance of fish decorations, and if you squinted super hard, you could see that on the top floor, there was a window that was shaped like a fish. Mostly, you could make out from your vantage point small basement windows lit brightly. You didn't have time to prepare yourself for when you felt a jerk back. 

"Honey I'm home!"

When you were deposited on the couch, you didn't quite expect to look up to so much...anime. It littered the shelves of the room you were carried into, and if you didn't know better, you would say Undyne was an otaku. It had been a while since you had time to watch any, with your school and work, but you at least knew the terms. And no Undyne was not an otaku, she was far too muscled, and loud to be anything of that nature. 

That was why, when you noticed a nervous looking dinosaur standing in the corner, you automatically linked the anime and manga with her. You sat up unceremoniously, barely able to catch yourself as your legs tangled with the chain around your ankle. Nope, you were back to lying in a heap. You supposed you might as well get used to it. 

"H-hi. Um..I-I'm Alphys, n-nice to meet you." The dinosaur woman waved at you before grabbing her hands in a nervous clutch. You almost felt guilty for finding her fascinating, it was as though a living, breathing triceratops was right in front of you. You had to shake yourself out of the stupid thoughts running through your head ('gee guess dinosaurs weren't fuzzy'), and introduce yourself.

"Uh...I'm ______...your new roommate?" You cocked your head, puzzled with the term. It had been awhile since you had a roommate.

Alphys looked at you, smiling. "Y-yeah you are. We d-don't have a whole bunch of room, but there's the hospital bed downstairs." You frowned. "The couch is good, thanks." Anything that made you feel more like a freak of nature was no good.

"D-do you need anything?" Alphys looked eager to please. "W-we have tea. And coffee. I think P-Papyrus left some spaghetti in the refrigerator." You wondered who Papyrus was, but you had had enough of people to last the rest of the day. Besides, it looked like you were completely reliant on your new 'guardian's' for now. You hadn't eaten all day though. "I'd like some of that spaghetti, thanks. They didn't feed me on the bus." 

Undyne spoke up, clicking her tongue. "That human version of the Royal Guard is so stupid. They're supposed to protect people, not put chains on them." She looked pointedly at your foot. You forced a smile. "It's kind of necessary. Else I'll go floating off." Alphys raised a pair of scaley eyebrows, and Undyne paused heating up dubious looking spaghetti. "What?"

You felt ashamed. Was your magic even weird for monsters who were supposedly made of it? "I can fly. It's more like float really, but either way it's hard to get down." Both of the monsters stared at you, looking quizzically perplexed. 

"Alphie, sweetie, ever heard of anything like that?" You caught the form of endearment, and realized it had been the second time that Undyne had called Alphys a name of affection. Cute, they must be together. You wondered how that worked, them being so different. Undyne must have caught you smiling at the both of them, and winked. "Yeah, should've told ya sooner, but she's my girlfriend." Alphys blushed shyly, ducking her head to the floor. 

She coughed slightly before looking up to you, voice a octave or two higher. "It's a r-rare thing, but I've heard of some of us levitating. I think some of the Temmie's had wings. but they n-never could fly. It might have died out because we never had a use for it, l-living in the Underground." It made sense. It was disheartening to know that there wasn't anyone like you though. 

"Thanks...um..." You looked at the spaghetti that Undyne handed you. It looked inedible, and was that glitter in the sauce? Somehow, the sight of it made you more exhausted, but dang it, you hadn't had anything to eat the entire day. You dug in, preparing yourself for future food poisoning. Maybe you could teach Undyne to cook some good spaghetti sauce, like the type your family used to make. 

It reminded you. "Hey, do you guys know how long it usually takes to get a pass back home? Like how long the training takes?" The two looked at each other again. "Um, punk listen. I handle much of the training around here, but I've never seen them issue a so-called pass. Well there was that one time to that guy, but he had that human sickness called cancer. Apparently made him less of a threat." You stared at them, noodles hanging from your mouth in a most unbecoming manner. "What?"

Alphys quickly tried to defuse the situation. "I-it's not that b-bad here! Y-you'll get to like it. Plus i-if you only h-have this flying th-thing, they will let you out of here in no t-time." Undyne nodded, picking up your quickly souring mood. "Hey kid, eat up. I have a special regime planned for you! It'll make them issue you a pass in less than a month, I swear!" 

That only made your anxiety climb higher, but you kept stuffing noodles into your mouth, willing yourself not to cry. "Whoa dude, um are you doing that on purpose?" 

You looked down, and you saw that you were floating again. You had gotten so used to it on the bus, you hardly noticed it anymore. That wasn't what Undyne was flipping out over though. The brace was lifted a few centimeters off the ground, seemingly no longer able to hold you down. "Oh hell..."

As though your magic had peeped out to just say hello, it quickly went away again. You fell a few feet back to the couch. You wondered how bruised your ass was. Poor thing. 

When you landed, a wave of dizziness hit you with resounding force. Hardly in time, you sat the half eaten spaghetti down before collapsing on the couch, shivering. "So tired..." 

Undyne turned to Alphys, grinning. "I think we need to let ______ rest, don't you think?" Alphys nodded, stooping to pick up a folded blanket from a recliner. She tossed it over you, and you gratefully mumbled a "Good nig-" before drifting off into a deep sleep.

* * *

 

"Get up, get up, get up! Rise and shine human!" A loud , somewhat familiar voice woke you up, and the days previous events caught up to you. You groaned, burying your head further into the armrest. Before you could fall asleep though, a webbed hand ripped off the comfy blanket. "Come on _____, rise and shine." You looked at Undyne, making a half formed protest that sounded like "Iffa' stahp pwease." Undyne shook her fist in your face, waking you with fear for your life. She must have removed the brace after all because you found you could move freely.  

"Good morning. Gonna head up and take my shower. I'll be out in ten, so eat by then. Breakfast is in the dining room, over there." She pointed to a small alcove with a table for four, set off in a corner, before heading to where you assumed Alphys and Undyne's bedroom was.

You noticed that Alphys wasn't up when you made it to the dining table. Undyne had set you out some cereal with a little note. 'Healthy breakfast for a healthy you.' You grinned, your new roommates were adorably quirky. You made short work of the cereal, starting towards the bathroom when Undyne headed out. It was stocked with various soaps and conditioners. You were excited to find some of your favorite body wash, obviously Alphys. There's no way Undyne would use 'Cherry Blossom and Jasmine Body Sparkle' . It made you feel guilty to just use it, after all you had hardly no money to pay them back. You had to save that besides--who knew when you would next get a job?

You sighed, suppressing the depressing thought. You would work on it, you were plenty resourceful. You had no experience doing anything general though. You wondered if Alphys might know something about a paleontology position, you had seen her lab coat hanging by the door when you went to the dining table.

"Come on punk! Get ready already!" You jumped, dashing to put your clothes on. It was a cardigan Undyne handed you from your stuff, and now that you thought about it, it probably needed to be sewed up--a hole was along the sleeve. Strange, you didn't think you packed this with the main bags. It didn't matter though, you weren't going to disappoint Undyne. You made it to the door, and Undyne pulled you to a small, dark purple SUV. You gave Undyne a look, and she made a face. "Alphys liked it." Grinning, you climbed into the front passenger seat. 

The scenery passed you by, and you saw a more developed part of Mt. Ebott than you saw yesterday. There was a couple office buildings, and what looked like the entrance to a mall. 'Maybe there is a university around here.' You wanted desperately to return to the normalcy of picking bones, and writing ten page essays, you don't think that you would ever take that for granted after this experience. 

"Here we are." Undyne pulled into the parking lot of a large two or three story structure. It looked recently built, and in bold letters along the side there read 'MUTANT TRAINING FACILITY'. So much for thinking you could ever return to a life of normal. You slumped in your seat, crossing your arms and pouting. Undyne noticed your look, and spoke in a quieter, reassuring voice. "It's going to be alright. I'm your trainer after all." 

You gave up fighting the inevitable, and swung your feet out the door. "I wish they wouldn't put 'mutant' all over the building though." Undyne shot you a look of sympathy. "I agree." 

You made it inside before your floating started again, startling many of the other people there. You noticed there was a pretty even mix of monsters and humans. Some looked at you with interest, and others looked at you with sympathy before turning back to whatever they were doing previously. Your heart shot through the roof when a hand took hold of your ankle.

"Hey punk. Let's get you down from there." Undyne dragged you down, and you noticed it took effort for her to do so. "Do you want me to put back on the chains?" You nodded. Somehow, every time you used even the slightest hint of your magic, you felt like you had run a marathon. Working out with Undyne's 'regimen' didn't seem like such a good idea right now. She took you over to some benches on the side of an open gym, sitting you down before clicking the brace in place. "Call me if you need me. I have a class starting in three." She waved a goodbye, and was gone before you could blink. 

You stared around you, taking in the bustling activity. Everywhere, someone was training their magic. Most of the magic was of two types--offense and defense--but you did notice some oddities. For instance, there was a boy off to the side animating a skeletal lizard, laughing as it climbed up his arm, and down again. You smiled, it was always nice to see kids appreciating bones. Another girl was busy morphing through various hair colors, and decided on one that matched her scarf. You squinted at her, trying to make out the pattern on it. For some reason, it was familiar. 

As you observed quietly, your vision was suddenly blocked by white bone, and a crop top with the saying 'Cool Dude' written across it. "HELLO HUMAN, I WAS SENT HERE BY UNDYNE TO SEE IF YOU ARE UP TO ONE-ON-ONE TRAINING. IF YOU ARE, I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS AND I WILL BE YOUR NEW TRAINER NYEH HEH HEH HEH!" The voice was enough to block out the din of the gym, and you looked up to said owner. 

The first thought you had was 'damn, ain't he tall' and the next was 'awe hell, not this again'. You remembered when your fellow students had tried to pull a prank on you by setting a human skeleton replica behind you without you noticing, but it was a bust. Skeletons just couldn't freak you out, you loved them too much. It became clear that the skeleton in front of you was no replica when he reached out to shake your hand. You looked at it, and you tentatively took his phalanges in your hands, careful not to squeeze too hard. If he was anything like what your were familiar with, he would be fragile. 

'Apparently not.' you found yourself thinking as your poor arm was nearly ripped from your arm socket. "YOU HAVE TO BE MORE FIRM ABOUT YOUR HANDSHAKES HUMAN, MY BROTHER TOLD ME THAT." You laughed at that, and partly at yourself for thinking that a monster could be fragile. "I will try to be more firm Papyrus."

Papyrus nodded. "TELL ME YOUR NAME HUMAN. IF WE ARE TO BE FRIENDS, I MUST KNOW YOUR NAME." You blushed, he seemed incredibly sweet. "My name is _____."

"WELL THEN _____ I, YOUR NEW TRAINER EXTRAORDINAIRE WILL BEGIN OUR LESSON IMMEDIATELY." He frowned when he noticed that you weren't getting up. "DO YOU NOT WISH TO...OH." Papyrus let a puff of air escape him when he saw your predicament. "LET ME REMOVE THE HINDRANCE." He didn't immediately try to use brute force to open the lock, but instead summoned a small bone. "MY BROTHER TAUGHT ME THIS TRICK, THE LAZYBONES THAT HE IS. HE JUST DIDN'T WANT TO KEEP UP WITH THE HOUSE KEY." Unfortunately, whatever lockpicking Papyrus was trying to do with the tiny bone failed. "I WILL JUST GET UNDYNE. PLEASE STAY THERE HUMAN. NYEH HEH HEH YOU HAVE TO!" Papyrus took off, and you shook your head in amazement. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad with a nice skeleton training you. No offense, but Undyne's speech about getting you out of here through her regimen had scared you last night. 

You turned back to the gym, situating yourself to watch the passerby. The girl with the scarf was still there, as was the boy with the skeleton lizard. They had moved closer now, and so had some others. It was like some unspoken rule. Maybe they get closer because Papyrus was talking to her? Who knew?

You watched as the boy with the lizard was approached by two older teenagers, both looking like they had recently seen the tail end of a skunk. One elbowed the boy, and the other bent to grab his head into a choke hold. "C'mon kid, give us the lizard." The other punched the boy in the gut. "Yeah, we wanna play with it too." In the turmoil, a single case had skidded it's way across the linoleum floor. Inside a description read: 'Property of _______ ________. If found, please return to 25X-XXX-XXXX.' 

Your stomach lurched to your throat. _Those were your things_. As you looked frantically around, you began to see that the scarf was familiar because it was _your scarf_. So was the jeans that older woman was wearing, as well as the backpack one man sported as he walked out of the gym. All of it was yours. You didn't understand, how could your stuff end up in the hands of complete strangers?

Minutely, you noticed you were steadily rising to the ceiling, rafters barely avoided. Some people were looking at you curiously now, some shrinking back when they realized the ugly look you were sporting. You were furious. No furious didn't cover the range of emotions that you had experienced in the past couple of days. Anger, terror, guilt, shame, confusion...you could go on, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. 

Papyrus returned to the gym in the middle of this spectacle, worried about where you had disappeared to. Did he actually unlock the chains on her foot? "HUMAN WHERE ARE YOU? I GOT THE KEYS FROM UNDYNE IF YOU ARE READY TO COMMENCE OUR TRAINING NOW." 

You saw him below you. Guilt flashed through you again. They all wanted to help you, but it was too much, too soon. Your stomach felt like a yo-yo, and just like that you made up your mind. You were going home. 

A rushing sound filled your ears, almost making you faint. It occurred to you that you were hurtling towards a window on the opposite wall. You weren't able to stop yourself though, as the glass shattered, sending shards to cut through your skin. Even in pain like this, you couldn't stop and you were propelled by your own magic through the parking lot. Before you, the entire town stretched out, a vast and beautiful thing. What concerned you the most though were the skyscrapers dwelling closer and closer. You wished desperately to whoever God might be to give you brakes, but nobody listened. You closed your eyes, life flashing before you. 

A new sensation filled your body making you unbelievably nauseous. Eyes snapping back open, you saw the clouds slip away, and the ground crawling closer. A large bang rang throughout the air when you hit a snowbank, flurries fluttering in the air to drift slowly back down. 

"heya kid. you looked like you needed a soft landing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! So I lied about the one chapter per day because here is Chapter 3 and it's barely been 24 hours since I started this thing. I hope it's not too angsty, that's not really my style. AND SANS IS HERE NYEH HEH HEH HEH 
> 
> A/N: Someone did try to prank me with a skeleton behind me on one of the first days I started bone picking (separating tiny bone fragments from bags of rock and sand). They were disappointed when I didn't even blink an eye, and moved it to go to the restroom. What can I say? I love bones man. Undertale was really the worst best fandom for me to get into.


	4. The Night You Regrettably Left Toriel's Pie Untouched

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my roommates decided to throw a wild sorority party tonight, and I didn't want to write this chapter while listening to a remix of Justin Bieber's Baby. Sorry about the lateness dear Reader!

" **tibia** honest, if i wasn't on my way to grillbz, you would be dead right now."

You tried to listen to the voice. It was a man's, a deep baritone. You couldn't really concentrate though, pain was shooting up your side, and in your left ankle. You were spread eagle in a layer of snow, and there was no way you could even lift your head to see who was speaking. 

"hey buddy, are you with me?" You heard snow crunching underfoot of someone, and a shadow fell over you. "sorry i might have been a bit rough."

You wanted to respond with a retort, but all you could manage was a warbled groan. You nearly started when a skeletal hand reached out to grab you, but then you remembered Papyrus. "here, can you pull yourself up?"

When you went to grab the hand, you found you couldn't move, and it wasn't just the pain stopping you. It almost was like someone had put a lead block inside you. It was even too much to lift a finger you found. "C-can't move." 

"oh right. sorry." Huh, that must have been Papyrus doing that, because you found yourself able to move marginally. You lifted your hand to grab the skeletal arm that was offered, and pulled yourself up to sit. 

"You're not Papyrus." You deadpanned, looking at the much shorter, and stout skeleton in front of you. He grinned. "you've met my brother?" Grimacing you nodded, taking in your surroundings. "He mentioned he had a bother. Called you a lazybones." 

The skeleton grinned. "sounds like him. com'on, let's get you outta here." Without your permission, you were lifted from the concave hole you had created in the snow. You hadn't realized how cold you were until you were wrapped in the skeleton's blue fur coat. You were surprised at the warmth it exuded. 

It left you uncomfortable though. You wanted to struggle, but you felt a sleepiness slipping over you, akin to the time you overdosed on cough medicine. "my name is sans by the way. sans the skeleton." You let slip a small hiccup of laughter into his sternum. "My name is ________. ________ the human." You really liked the way his eyes sparked with mischief before you drifted off into a dreamless slumber.

 

* * *

You came to in a cozy living room. It reminded you of your grandmother's old house. It had antique furniture, and it had been years since you saw a lace doily on every surface. A fire was burning low in a large fireplace, and food was on the coffee table in front of you. You tried to reach for it, but pain ran again through your side, and you decided immediately something had to be broken. Gingerly rolling over, you saw that the window on one side of the fireplace was dark. It was nighttime. You must have been out quite awhile.

"Oh are you awake dear?" A calming motherly voice made you turn your neck too far back, and you moaned in agony. "Oh dear! I'm so sorry!" A large goat woman came into view, and you found yourself being fretted over. "Do you need your bandages changed? I can feed you if you want!" You were overwhelmed. "N-no. Um...where am I?" Your voice came out as a squeak. 

The goat woman smiled. "You're in my house dear. Sans brought you here. Oh I forgot to introduce myself! I'm Toriel." You tried to smile back, but even your face was sore. Everything was achy now that you gave it thought, but most pressing was the pain shooting down your side, and your ankle. 

"how is the kid?" As though he was summoned after being mentioned, Sans appeared in you peripheral. Toriel's smile faltered. "She's pretty banged up. Sans was it really necessary for you to bring her down so fast?" Sans looked admonished, and scratched the back of his skull. "she was going pretty fast tori." 

"How bad is it?" You were worried, but it also was embarrassing for them to have a conversation over you. You tried to sit up, but was held down gently by Sans. "don't even try kid. you're running a **femur**." Okay that was it. You were classifying this guy under 'asshole'. You felt your lips curl up slightly though. He was right, you did feel an odd mix of chilled and hot. 

"You have a couple of broken ribs, and a sprained ankle. It should heal up with some rest." You sighed. Sitting had been all you had been doing since this whole fiasco started. That, and flying through windows. Toriel continued. "Can you tell us what happened?" You looked from her to Sans who seemed to inspect you with his hands in his pockets. "I...I don't really remember."

Sans looked at you curiously. "i called my brother awhile ago. he said he wasn't able to find you." He paused, looking guilty. "i would've brought you to a hospital, but they question everything with you humans that can do magic." 

Toriel nodded. "I can heal you some. It's not the best, but you should be fine after a week or two." You were a little relieved at that. It made sense that the hospital would question things, everyone had been questioning you for the past few days. "Thank you. I have no way to pay you back though..."

Sans chuckled. "stay alive bud. my bro likes you." You blushed. You weren't aware that you had made such a good impression. "I'll try." The moment between the two of you was ruined by the sound of a slamming door.

"ALRIGHT LOSER'S! I'm here, and you guys better tell me where ______ is right now!" Stomps echoed behind you before you found yourself flung over Undyne's shoulder, again. You hoped this wouldn't be a regular occurrence. 

"U-undyne maybe y-you should put her d-down. She has b-bandages all over h-her." Undyne nodded sharply at Alphys who followed meekly behind her, before you were deposited back on the couch. Yep, you were back to wishing you were dead. 

"Ugh sorry I must've scared you guys." Undyne grimaced. "We worried about you. It's not like we get a roommate who flies often." You looked at her sheepishly before you remembered. "Hey I recall what made me upset."

The others cocked their heads inquisitively. "A lot of people had my stuff--the things I brought with me here." Undyne looked suspiciously unsurprised while Alphys looked even more nervous, looking towards the ceiling as though it would save her. "Do you guys know anything about that?"

Alphys jumped. "U-uh..." Undyne butted in, trying to save her girlfriend. "Listen here punk. We didn't mean for your stuff to get lost, it was just..." she continued on a quieter note, "the place they wanted to put you was awful. They have these dormitories, and they were going to put you in the toughest one. I've heard of people nearly getting killed in there. When I saw you, and how your powers are, I had to take you out of there."

"So you thought I was too weak to handle it?" You understood where she was coming from, but you were still mildly offended.

"W-we just wanted y-you to be safe." Alphys's voice was so much higher than what you normally heard it. Undyne nodded in agreement. "The thing was, we didn't have time to grab the bag off the bus. That's why we were so late coming to get you yesterday, me and Alphys chased the bus down, but your stuff was already being fought over. We got a bit of your clothes today, but a lot is gone."

You were beside yourself. "So the bag they threw at me?" Undyne looked at you with guilt, which wasn't a look that suited her. "Looked through it while you were out. It seemed like some textbooks and a computer." You were happy you had that at least, but the thought of others having your things made you shudder. Another thought occurred to you. 

"So you guys didn't have room to take me in, but you wanted me to be your roommate anyways?" Alphys and Undyne looked at each other and nodded. Wow, it _was_ possible for you to feel worse. "I'm imposing on you. I'll go to the dorms." You swung your legs off the couch, just now noticing the brace laying on the floor. You rolled your eyes at it, and stood. Oh God, that hurt. 

"what are you doing kid? you have a sprained ankle!" You just noticed Sans again, and he looked mildly panicked. You stiffened before limping heavily towards what looked like the front door. "I'm getting my stuff and leaving." After saying this, you collapsed, barely caught in time by Sans. "no you're not." 

Sans turned towards Undyne and Alphys. "you guys don't have a second bedroom right?" They both shook their head in the negative. Sans nodded, eyes shifting to the side nervously before looking down at you. You were acutely aware that he was still holding you. "how would you feel if you came to live with me and paps for a little while? we have a free bedroom that my bro is using for his action figure collection." You wanted nothing more than to tell him yes because the thought of going to live in whatever the dormitories were terrified you, but you hated the thought of imposing. "No, I can't."

Sans wasn't taking no for an answer though. "yes, you can, you **fibula**." Sans wiggled his bony eyebrows making you intrigued about how he did that. "no one here wants you to get hurt."

You looked around you, and you softened when you saw everyone staring back at you with care and concern. "Fine, I'll go with you." You couldn't find it in yourself to feel bad when he looked at you with such profound relief. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Finally finished! Haha it's so late, at least it's a Friday. 
> 
> A/N: Unfortunately, there is no fun paleontology references, but I can tell you that doily's are my favorite old lady thing. (little, usually lacy and round, cloth covers that old ladies put over their furniture because they don't like to dust)


	5. The Night You Made Sans Go Blush in His Room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is getting out of hand readers. I keep refreshing, and I see more and more kudos. IT'S SCARING ME. 
> 
> Just kidding, you all belong to me.

"There we go. You're all patched up." Toriel smiled gently at you before removing her hands (paws?) from your leg. Your ribs still gave you pain, she hadn't been able to heal those at all, but at least you could stand now. You felt such overwhelming gratitude for everyone around you, it was impossible to repay them for their kindness you realized. Tears formed in the corners of your eyes. You would at least try you decided. 

"alright, let's get you to my place kiddo." Sans took it upon himself to yank you up from your previous sitting position. What was it with everyone dragging you around? Undyne looked on with amusement. "Sans how did you get here?"

Sans chuckled. "how do ya think?" Undyne raised her fist. "You are NOT taking her through those 'shortcuts' or whatever the hell they are." You looked at Sans in surprise. Somehow that didn't sound good. Toriel gave Undyne a look. "Frisk is asleep. Please don't start a fight." Undyne lowered her fist, but did not look sorry in the least. 

Neither did Sans. "aw but i was wanting to make this **short**." A collective groan went up with Toriel giggling in her paw. "you guys still have your car right?" Alphys nodded eagerly, while Undyne blushed lightly and grumbled. She must really hate the thought of driving an SUV you thought, smiling at the adorable couple. 

"good we can go in that." Sans turned to go, dragging you with him. You made a squeak of noise, and he turned to you, pinpricks in his eyes mellowing to a soft white. He adjusted his hand around you to a more comfortable grip. You could see behind you, over the arm slung across Sans shoulders. Undyne was giving you a thumbs up, and Alphys was grinning, her palms pressed together. Embarrassment made you duck your head down. 'They're all stupid."

You made it slowly to the vehicle, and managed to shake Sans off in order to lift yourself into the van. Having broken bones wasn't exactly a new experience for you. You went to many different countries for your field research, and one time while in Chile you had slipped, and found yourself rolling down a mountain. You had managed to get a well preserved bird specimen, but you had broke your foot in three places. This was nothing, and you didn't need Sans to keep babying you, especially when this was your fault. Sans just gave you a look of timeless patience. "you don't have to act so tough." You glanced at him as he scooted into the seat next to you.

"I don't like being babied." You sighed, looking down at your lap. "wanna hear a joke?" You looked him in the face, wondering if he couldn't read the mood, or if he could and just decided to plow on anyways. "why did the skeleton stay out in the snow all night?" You narrowed his eyes at him, secretly knowing this was going to be good. "I don't know." 

"because he was a **numbskull**." You guffawed before glaring at him. "I have one better." He seemed mildly impressed. "go ahead." 

"What do you call a skeleton that presses the doorbell?" He shrugged, grinning. "A **dead ringer**." He laughed outright, gesturing to wipe a glowing blue tear with the end of a single phalanx. 

"Alright that is IT. Either you both get out of the car, or we're going to be SILENT." Undyne had gotten into the drivers seat. She started the engine, turning to look back at you. "We got your stuff in the back. It's not much, but we did manage to salvage some of your clothes. Apparently no one wanted them." You looked into the trunk and grabbed a large tote bag with a fish across the front. How very Undyne-like. 

Inside you saw clothes that horrified you. It was all of your attire you reserved for field wear. Old sweatshirts, khaki hiking pants, a brim hooded green hat. 'Yeah, no one would want this.'  

"wow i wondered about your tastes when i saw the torn sweater, but i like your style." You glared at the skeleton who was wearing a shit eating grin. "Shut up."

The ride back was filled with conversation between Undyne and Alphys. They were having trouble deciding what anime to watch, and you were glad that you were not going to live with them for once. They were so cute, and you would have just been a third wheel. You passed a small park which you recognized vaguely. "Hey Sans, was that where...?"

Sans had been about to fall asleep against the car window, but he started awake, shifting to pay attention to you. "yeah, that's where you made quite the landing."

You wanted to press him. "How did you do that? I thought for sure I going to die." Sans looked at the seat in front of him, his eye sockets darkening significantly. "It's better if you don't question it kid." You frowned. Did he do something horrific to you? You had to know, but you didn't question him further, respecting that whatever it was he didn't want to talk about it. 

"On another note, why do you keep calling me kid?" His grin was plastered back on his face. "wouldn't you like to know." He said with amusement. "i'm eons old obviously." You somehow didn't buy that, and crossed your arms, cocking your head skeptically. He saw this and scratched the back of his head, sweat beading on his brow. "well i'm 26, but i feel eons old. you know, the sack o' bones look and all." He gestured towards you. "you're what? still a teenager?" 

You knew that many thought you were younger than what you really were, but you were barely younger than him. "I am not!" You pouted, noting that he was looking at you with shock, his pupils dilated. "I am __, so suck it!" You fumed out the window for the rest of the ride, feeling curiosity bubble from the skeleton beside you. You didn't acknowledge him or the two giggling monsters in the front until you got out though. 

"Thanks for everything Undyne, Alphys." You couldn't think of anything more to say, but Undyne beat you to it, tackling you in a bear hug. "If Sans says too many of his puns, or Papyrus cleans your room too much, just let us know punk. You're always welcome with me and Alphys." Alphys patted awkwardly on your back, confirming Undyne's sentiments. 

You grabbed your tote bag (it was the only clothes you had, what were you supposed to do) and looked at the brothers house. You were stunned. It was large, larger than what you had ever lived in for sure. There was two stories and an attached garage on the side. The main structure was brick, and on the front door there was a wreath constructed with bones. In front of the garage, there was a red convertible with the hood pulled up. Overall, it was the perfect bachelor pad for two skeleton guys you decided. 

"com'on in." Your tote bag was grabbed from your hands by a cheerful Sans who held his hand out to you. You pouted at him, making your way to limp down the sidewalk to the front door. "i don't think so." He put his hand on the small of your back, flinching a little when you stopped. Weird, he hadn't been nervous invading your space before. You couldn't concentrate on that for long though because you noticed too late that their house had steps leading up it. "Uh...Sans can you help me up?" You felt the hand on your back tremble before Sans let out an unsteady breath. "sure."

You felt your body go light, it was almost like when you were flying, but you weren't anxious like when that happened. It was actually rather calming, wrapping you in a warm aura. You were floated past the stairs to stand on the landing in front of the door. Shocked, you spun around, wincing because of the pain running through your side. "What was that?" Sans looked uncomfortable again, like he had in the car. "that's my magic."

"So you are telekinetic?" You wondered out loud. "yeah." You paused, contemplating. "Was that what you did to get me to come down?" Sans sighed, and shook his head. "no, that was something else." 

You nodded, taking in his expression. He wasn't going to tell you anything more, he looked worried about how much he did tell you already. Which did beg the question...

"Why didn't you just lift me up without my permission which you have been doing all day?" Sans sputtered, tugging on the sleeves of his coat. "Uh...well I didn't kn-" 

He let the thought trail off, looking up to you with apprehension. "i'm going to the tool shed." He turned and just about ran off, leaving small footprints that curved to the back of the house. You let out a small chuckle. Avoidance game: strong.  

"HUMAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING STANDING ON THE DOORSTEP LIKE A LIMP NOODLE. COME ON IN!!"

A loud voice interrupted your thoughts about the short skeleton, and you turned again (albeit slower) to face Papyrus, who had changed from your failed training session into a frilly apron that read 'BEST COOK EVER'. It was splattered with what looked like tomato sauce, and a burning smell hit you when you stepped closer to the door. "MY BROTHER TOLD ME THAT YOU WILL BE LIVING WITH US FROM NOW ON! IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY. WAIT...WHERE IS MY BROTHER?"

You told Papyrus that he had gone to the tool shed. Papyrus looked confused. "HE NEVER GOES THERE. HE HAS BEEN EVEN MORE LAZY SINCE WE GOT TO THE SURFACE. HE HARDLY LEAVES THE HOUSE EXCEPT TO GO TO THE NEW GRILLBY'S." You nodded in recognition of the name. "Yeah, he said something about being on the way to there when he saw me in the snow." 

"OH MY GOSH HUMAN! I FORGOT COMPLETELY ABOUT YOUR INJURIES! SIT DOWN, THE SPAGHETTI I AM MAKING WILL BE READY SOON." He forced you to sit in a bar stool facing the kitchen, and began stirring a steaming pot vigorously. You were reminded of the glittery pasta concoction you ate at Undyne's and Alphys's house and you knew. 'Yep there's the food poisoning.' 

"Hey Papyrus, where is y'all's bathroom?" Papyrus glanced at you briefly before pointing upstairs. "IT IS YOUR BATHROOM NOW TOO! FEEL FREE TO USE IT WHENEVER YOU NEED TO." 'What a sweet cinnamon roll. He definitely needs help cooking though or you would be using that bathroom way too often.' 

You made it to the stairs before you were reminded of your predicament. There was no way you were getting up there if you couldn't even manage the three steps outside. You turned around hoping that maybe Papyrus would be able to carry you, or better yet do the floaty thing that Sans did earlier. You instead let out a meep when a deep voice breathed across your ear. 

"hey what do you think you're doing?" 

A furious blush covered your face when you felt it again. You were floating, but it didn't feel warm or comforting. The anxiousness that your magic gave off was back, and you found yourself uncontrollably flying closer and closer to the ceiling. 

"woah buddy. come down." You felt a tug near your chest. It wasn't painful, it was just heavy. It got more insistent though when your body refused to come down, and was stuck at the top of the ceiling. You admired the woodwork, it was a nice glossy oak. 'Fuck my life.'

"shit sorry. um...how does this happen usually?"

You looked at Sans below you, and sighed. "You can't do the whole crashing to the ground thing?" Sans raised a boney brow at you, and looked suggestively at the floor. 'Oh right that's wood too.' 

"Well I get caught up in my emotions, and all of a sudden I find myself banging around above everyone." Sans raised a speculative finger to his mandible in thought. "why don't you try controlling your emotions?" You glared down at him causing him to smirk, and you to burst out laughing at the absurdity of this situation. "Sure, why not."

You focused on the ball of emotions multiplying inside you. It wasn't like pushing them down, which is what you had been doing previously. It was more like straightening them out into neat little lines that went from screaming to whispering quietly in the background. You saw more than felt yourself float down slowly, and once you reached the ground, your legs folded out from underneath you.

"Oh..." you breathed, before you felt Sans pulling you in his arms for the millionth time today. "where do you need to go?" You blushed again, but managed to keep a reign on your anxiety for now. "Bathroom." He grinned. "sure thing boss." He gestured in front of him, the tips of his phalanges glowing blue along with a blue fire in one eye. A dark slit spread through the air before you were popped into it. It was disorienting, but you came out on the other side relatively unscathed other the undeniable sparky scent of magic clinging to your torn clothes. "here we go." Sans let go of you, gently sitting you on the ground. 

"let me know if you need anything else." He winked and walked to a room on the far side of the hallway, disappearing into it with an audible click. You started to hover a couple of inches off the ground before you snapped to your feet to quit it. You were a mess by the time you got to sleep on the couch, Sans not making an appearance from his room. You had to get Papyrus to help you down, and it was apparent he didn't have the same magic Sans possessed because he opted to carry you over his shoulder similar to how Undyne did. He babbled about how he was getting your bedroom fixed up, and how you guys would have so many spaghetti nights together. You sighed, cuddling deeper into the blanket. For once, you couldn't go to sleep after using magic, your thoughts were too occupied by the small skeleton in the room above you. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tee hee that was fun to write. I won't be able to update for the next couple of days, I have an exam on Monday that I desperately need to study for. 
> 
> A/N: A friend of mine did actually go to Chile and fall down a mountain all for the love of fossils. She managed to snag an ancestor to cockatoos, and it made it worth it. :D
> 
> I've been noticing the incorrect use of plural versus singular forms of bones to describe a single bone on this forum. For instance, you might've noticed I called a single finger bone a phalanx not phalanges. Other corrections:  
> Sing. Plural  
> femur-femora  
> humerus-humeri  
> scapula-scapulae  
> ischium-ischia  
> tibia-tibiae  
> radius-radii  
> pubis-pubes (this one is fucking weird, I will avoid it at all costs)  
> fibula-fibulae  
> ulna-ulnae  
> patella-patellae  
> ilium-ilia


	6. The Day You Slightly Harassed Sans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mmm there was a drunken tale on board a mighty ship. come sail along, and hear this tale because I have no friends. because I have no friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So I'm back (finally) woot woot. I apologize for the lack of updates, my life is insane. I will be able to update with longer chapters this weekend. 
> 
> So I bet you were wondering what that drunken shenanigans tag was for eh?

"THIS IS YOUR BEDROOM HUMAN. I TRIED TO DECORATE IT TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITIES, BUT SANS TOLD ME THAT YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE POSTERS OF SPAGHETTI HANGING ABOVE YOUR HEADREST, SO I PUT THEM IN YOUR CLOSET."

Papyrus had woken you this morning with a special of 'breakfast spaghetti' which consisted of noodles, eggs and sausage with picante sauce. You were looking forward to your second round of food poisoning later that night. Sans had left to go somewhere before you woke, apparently one of his jobs according to Papyrus. Before you had a chance to ask what his jobs were, you were dragged forcibly upstairs to the middle bedroom. 

"DO YOU LIKE IT? I-I LEFT SOME OF MY ACTION FIGURES IN HERE, SO IF YOU GET LONELY YOU CAN ALWAYS INDUCE A BATTLE SIMULATION." You turned to Papyrus, seeing that he was nervous, shifting his stance every so often. "I love it."

A large smile spread across Papyrus's face. "I'M SO GLAD. YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME TO COME TO MY ROOM AS WELL IF YOU WISH TO BATTLE WITH THE AMAZING ME. NYEH HEH HEH HEH." Papyrus turned to leave, shutting the door to your new bedroom softly. 

You looked around. The bedroom was sparsely decorated, but that was to be expected. The tote bag that Undyne gave you was sitting on a purple comforter which looked to be the only thing that was yours in the bedroom. You looked in the closet however, and found the duffel bag containing books and your laptop. The posters that Papyrus had told you about were in there, as well as a small note. You unfolded it to find loopy handwriting. 

'here's a map to the store. thought you might need something besides the bucket hat.' Underneath was a folded map of Mt. Ebott and the area around it. Some hastily scrawled lines crossed over streets to a mall area. You looked back to the note. There was a small footnote in a corner, written in incredibly tiny letters. 'who is smarter, longitude or latitude?…longitude, because it has 360 degrees.' You deadpanned at the paper, pursing your lips. It was as though he couldn't help himself. Maybe he had some disease? A monster disease that made one utter constant jokes and puns on a regular basis? Yeah, that was probably it. 

You smiled ruefully, and put the note and map in the nightstand beside your bed, looking in the tote bag for what clothes you could salvage. There was a sweatshirt that had seen the heat cycle on the washer too many times, its logo faded to an unrecognizable blob. For pants, there was some khakis, holes present in the knees. You were not amused. 

You put on the mismatched clothing, wondering how you would look going to the mall in your present state. The thought wasn't relieving. Sighing, you looked back in your small tote bag coming up with a pair of hiking boots. 'Might as well put on the 'bucket hat' and call it good.' 

You noticed that the shoes provided support to your sore ankle despite being the ugliest muddy thing you owned. You were able to make it cautiously down the stairs, and to the couch before collapsing onto it with a wince. Your ribs still felt like they were splitting your sides at the seams, but it was better than the sharp, nauseating pain from yesterday.

"_______ ARE YOU STILL IN PAIN?" You looked up to find Papyrus looking at you in worry. You nodded, regretting that as more pain tingled through your side. Papyrus paused, contemplating something. He brightened at whatever thought he had before speaking.

"WE WERE PLANNING ON HAVING A JOYOUS GET TOGETHER LATER THIS EVENING, BUT IF YOU ARE IN PAIN, SANS AND I CAN'T POSSIBLY LET YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE. SO WE WILL HAVE THE PARTY HERE INSTEAD, I'M SUCH A GENIUS." After this proclamation, Papyrus stomped out of the room flourishing his cellphone, leaving you dumbfounded. A party? You looked like a train wreck, and they wanted to throw a party? 'Sure why not? I've always wanted to know what it would be like to socially kill myself in front of a room of people I barely know.' 

You puttered about the rest of the day feeling sorry for yourself. Looking around the skeleton's house, you were mildly surprised you didn't find a crypt or something similar. but from what you had seen, all of the monsters were just like normal people, just a little more anatomically unique. The house was messy though, and you cleaned a bit, feeling guilty for crashing at their place. It did beg the question again of how you were ever going to pay them back. Maid for life? Paleontologist reduced to personal window scrubber? You shook your head, pressing down harder on the windows you were wiping clean. 

"boo."

You dropped your rag and felt yourself rising a few inches above the ground. You stubbornly grabbed onto your emotions, cursing when you saw the insufferable skeleton behind you, grinning. 

"Fucking fudge cakes, why do you do this?" His smirk got wider and his eyes looked smug. "do what?"

You pointed a finger at him, wiggling it wildly. "You're a terrible person."

He shrugged, not looking ashamed at all. "i'm not a person, i'm a skeleton." You raised an eyebrow. You weren't always good at picking up on peoples emotions, but that sounded self-depreciating. 

"I think you guys are people. More people-like than most people." You landed, clutching your fingers together in nervousness. His expression was unreadable, but you did notice a brightening of his eye pricks. He finally looked at you, grinning. "no human ever says that. thanks." 

He held out a single skeletal hand to you. You stared at it before taking it, and you noticed him relaxing his tight pose. "thought you might need a hand to hold on to. ya know, floatin' away and all." He turned to look at you after he led you to the kitchen stools. "can you help me make something? pap usually does the cooking, but he made you sick last night. uh..." He paused looking as awkward and adorable as hell. "i went to the store and got stuff." 

You looked through the bags, leery of what he meant by stuff, but let out a gasp of relief. There was a bag of muffin mix, some eggs, lettuce, frozen lasagna to stick in the oven, and Parmesan cheese, along with other things to make what looked like lasagna and salad for the dinner at the party tonight.  

You tucked the muffins into a upper cabinet whispering a 'mine'. Sans raised a boney eyebrow before chuckling and getting out the salad mix. "i can fix everything, but the brownies. pap had them one time and loved them, but then he tried to make brownie spaghetti, and it sorta ruined them for...everyone."

You laughed grabbing the box, and gathering the ingredients. "Hey Sans where are the bowls?" Sans pointed behind him, looking at the ranch and ketchup bottles, before deciding to stick the ranch into the refrigerator. You grabbed it from him shaking your head. "I like ketchup, but that is not an appropriate salad dressing." He looked sheepish. "heh righto." You put it on the counter, and got to work making the brownies before sticking them into the oven. 

Once Sans had also stuck the lasagna into the oven, the both of you sat down on the living room couch, exhausted. You nearly leaned your head on Sans shoulder before you thought better of it, and leaned on the arm of the couch. You felt oddly comfortable with him, and nearly slipped into sleep before the doorbell rang. 

"Ready to party guys?" A loud voice you automatically recognized as Undyne woke you from your almost-slumber, and you glared halfheartedly at the fish woman. "Wow you guys are a disappointment." Undyne tutted at both you and Sans, and strode over to the couch to grab the both of you by the back of your shirts. "GET UP!"

You were flung onto your feet before you noticed a rather nervous Alphys and Toriel looking at you, and glancing behind them in concern. You cocked your head curiously. "Hey guys, what's up?" 

Alphys was the first to speak, stuttering over her words. "H-hey ______, you never got to meet M-" 

"YOU NEVER GOT TO MEET THE GLORIOUS ME? Well I am ashamed." A mechanical, and high pitched male voice greeted you before you saw the robot standing in your doorway. He was tall, and if he was human, you would immediately label him as a cross dresser, but strangely his stilettos worked for him. You could swear that you had seen before, but where?

"Hello darling, the name is Mettaton, I am certain you know me from my numerous T.V. appearances on your human networks." You grinned nervously, unsure if you were allowed to speak. It didn't look like he was finished. "I also work many charity cases. You look like the type to know many charity organizations dear." He looked down at your clothed in undisguised distaste. "No matter, where is Papyrus, it always is lovely talking with an enthused fan. Later..."

Mettaton paused, waiting for you to give your name. Part of you wanted to say 'Sir Kick-Your-Buttface' just for the comment about your clothes, but other people were here. "My name's _______."

He nodded, looking slightly disinterested before rushing to where Papyrus was standing, starting an animated conversation. It was then that you spotted Undyne hefting large bottles of vodka and tequila onto the kitchen counter. You rushed towards them, hoping for just a shot to forget the rudeness of earlier. 

You looked at Undyne, and pointed at the bottles grinning. Undyne shrugged. "Monsters have high tolerances to your human stuff. It does affect us, but it takes a lot. Monster alcohol is better, but you have to go back to the Underground for that." 

You nodded, it made sense. Many didn't even have human livers, or organs at all (cue skeleton brothers), so it would only make sense that human things would affect them differently. "Can I have some?" Undyne nodded, getting a mischievous look in her eye for a couple seconds. "Sure, knock yourself out." 

You grabbed the vodka, pouring yourself a well portioned helping before mixing it with pineapple juice that Alphys handed you. The two looked anxiously at you when you took your first shot, but you let it roll off your back. You had three more before going out to join Sans and Toriel who were swapping jokes on the couch. Alphys and Undyne trailed behind you, continuously looking at each other now in conspiracy, smothering giggles in their hands when you flopped onto the couch beside Sans. 

"Didda ya guys know, I like am a dinosaur lover?" For some reason, the proper terms were escaping you, and you squinted at Sans and Toriel in frustration. "It's called a paleo...pakleo...gist. A pakleogistust." You smiled widely, happy you got the word right. "I'm weally wood at it too."

Sans glared at Undyne and Alphys who were full on laughing at you now. "what did the two of her give her?" Undyne cracked up laughing, rolling on the floor. "W-we gave her s-some monster alcohol we kept in the old bottles." Alphys started to recollect herself, looking nervously at Sans who was glaring mostly at Undyne. "Oh Sans, it's not even the strong stuff." Undyne sat on the floor, looking at you.

You for the most part had a goofy happy grin on your face. Whatever was in the monster alcohol you didn't know, but you felt euphoric, on cloud nine for the first time in a long time. It made you feel comfortable telling the whole world your life story. "I also have a stick banger thingie. I bang on rocks, and then I get pretty rocks. Pretty rocks are the prettiest." Sans shifted from looking peeved to looking amused.  

"do you mean a hammer?" Sans asked. You looked at him, noticing how nice his face was. "You don't look like my specks...speckimens." You poked his cheeks causing a bright cyan blush to bloom across his cheeks. "You're too squishy." You poked his cheeks again before Toriel cleared her throat. She had been sitting primly in her seat, trying her best to look as regal as possible. "Undyne, Alphys." The two monsters in question turned to look at Toriel, both completely obedient.

"Yes ma'am?" Undyne questioned. Toriel looked towards you. "See to it that _______ get's to her room." Both nodded, and agreed in a series of affirmative yes's. Before they could move you however, you started babbling, not wanting the two to take you from your audience despite how hard it was getting to concentrate. 

"I was a teacher too. I like teaching, but there was this one kid, and his face sucked. He broke my mouse specimen that I had to go to Australia for, and it's hot in Australia. I saw a kangaroo." In the midst of you talking animatedly to no one in particular, Sans and Toriel shared a look. "say _______, you like teaching huh?" 

You nodded, excited that someone was listening to you. "Yeah, and I like bones too." Sans got a strange look on his face before quickly recovering and turning to Toriel. "maybe she could?"

Toriel nodded. "How would you like to help me teach at the monster school? We have a dire shortage of teachers, especially science ones."

You nodded excitedly, a spinning sensation catching up with you before you stopped. "I would love to!" 

Toriel smiled to herself, pleased. "I'll let Sans walk you over tomorrow and let you check it out. For now, get some rest dear."

You were led by Undyne and Alphys up to your room where you collapsed on the bed, completely passing out. It wasn't until the tendrils of early morning sunlight reached you that you remembered. 'Oh yeah, i just agreed to teach monster school. What the hell me?' 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Please let me know if you get the reference in the summary, this song is stuck in my head.) 
> 
> A/N: First off, go listen to Underlights by All Good Things. It is a ridiculously good song to go with Chara. Kind of like megalovania with words.   
> https://youtu.be/6mHVQTu4x1E
> 
> Second off, rock hammers are awesome things that bash rocks, but have you heard of a brick hammer? Really, if you're going to get a hammer, get this because your work will basically be done for you, and you'll have bad ass weaponry when the apocalypse happens. Paleo weirdo out.


	7. The Day M.K. Bruised His Tail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so SO sorry about being late with the chapters. This semester, I have a test or two EVERY week, so my life is nonexistent. Just know that I have the whole story planned out, but PLEASE feel free to give suggestions or ideas for chapters.

You woke in the morning with a fuzzy recollection of the night before. You stared at the ceiling waiting for it to give you answers, but the only change was a gradual brightening of your bedroom. It was rather disconcerting to think that it was your bedroom now, that you lived with monsters who were skeletons. In part, it made you happy, but another part of you felt detached from reality, like none of this was real. 

It really shouldn't have surprised you with all the anxious thoughts bubbling in your head, that you and the ceiling crashed together in a collision that shook some of the sheet rock down to the floor. As though knocked back into you, your memories of the drunken party flooded back in your head. 'Shit, I molested Sans.'

In uncanny coincidence, the skeleton that you poked at earlier, opened the door to your room cautiously. 'Great, he fears me now.'

"hey nerd, are you ok? i heard some banging around up here..." Sans paused, seeing the covers of your bed on the floor. He looked up, seeing your face smushed against the ceiling, your pupils barely able to look down far enough to make him out. "how's it **hanging**?"

"Sans, I swear..." You couldn't laugh because you wanted to cry too much. Instead tears pattered against Sans skull while you grinned helplessly. "I just feel...I feel so..." The crying got worse, and after a passage of time, you tumbled to the ground, a heap of crying human. 

Sans rushed to you, hesitating before patting you on the back. "you're just feeling an equivalent to a hangover, at least that's what you humans call it. let's get you up." Sans reached to grab you, but as he touched you, a shock ran through your arm and you were flung towards the door, barely able to grab the handrail along the balcony on time before you were thrown over. Shaking, you looked back at Sans in utter terror. 

He was laughing. _Laughing_. Anger rushed over you, and this time you were flung back in the room, smacking into the opposite wall. You were certain that you had a black eye. "MAKE IT STOP SANS!"

He stopped laughing long enough to flick a hand in your direction, and you felt your body glue itself to the floor. You couldn't move anything, and in a way it was rather comforting. "since your magic is tied to your emotions, your hangover is worse. see, our alcohol doesn't give us a hangover and make us sick like that stuff you humans drink, it just makes us emotional." He sounded gleeful. "i remember when grillby got into his own liquor cabinet before coming to the surface. couldn't bring it all with him, y'know? the morning after...well i've never seen grillbz set fire to the jukebox, but he wanted to hear some music, and the thing was always broke." He shrugged, grinning. 

"Sans." You were hardly able to mumble out his name, your mouth felt heavy. "yes?" You deadpanned. "I never want any of your alcohol ever again."

Sans laughed again, and you appreciated the way his eyes crinkled up happily. You weren't surprised you found him handsome, it only made sense. After all, you hung around bones too much in your lab, and you had steadily gone insane this past week. Pining over a skeleton while simultaneously wanting to smack him was starting to be your new normal. 

"well anyways i came in here to get you up. tori wants you to help at the school. you remember that, right?" You nodded, or tried to. You were still firmly stuck to the floor. "Yeah...but you should know that the only experience I have teaching is to college classes, and that lasted one day. Then this happened. It was fun." Sans chuckled and held out a hand, hoisting you up. "let's get you some bandages." Sans led you to the bathroom, rummaging through the cabinets before pulling out some bandages. He unwrapped them, making to stick them on you. His warm bones brushed your eye before you felt the same shock run through you again. You bit down on the urge to fly into the ceiling again, your face twisting up. He looked at you in concern. 

"i'm sorry. i forgot it makes most people uncomfortable to be touched by what looks like their insides, heh." He handed you the bandage, taking a step back. You stared in sad disbelief. "That's um...that wasn't it." Sans looked back, and you noticed his eyes had dimmed slightly. 

"then what was it?" 

You sputtered, searching for an answer that didn't sound pervy before you saw Sans lower his eyes in disappointment. You grabbed at all remaining vestiges of courage, and sheer determination. "It's this hangover thing. It makes me...um..." You paused in revelation of how creepy this was going to sound. "It makes me sensitive."

Sans eyes flared a teal blue before he breathed out an 'oh', nearly silent. 

"here..uh..." Sans looked around in panic. Your voice raised a pitch. "I can't see where I'm bruised, please help me with the bandage...only if you want to!" God, you made that sound like an offer. Oh yes, that's how you get men, you beat yourself up, and have them bandage you. Oh that was even worse. You were now laughing frantically. 

Sans approached you, looking for all the world like he would rather run far, far away. He took the bandage from you, and spread it across you lower right cheek. "there ya go." He stepped back again, rubbing the back of his cervicals. "if you need anything, i'll be downstairs. you'll probably have to wake me up though." He returned back to his perpetually grinning self before slipping downstairs. 

You facepalmed before getting up to get changed. What could you even wear? There was a black raincoat. You might be able to get away with wearing that with a turtleneck underneath. There were some yoga pants, and you paused, contemplating how fired you would be if you wore this terrible outfit on the first day. Would they interview you? Hell, what age group was this? If this was high schoolers forget teaching, everyone would be too busy staring at your ass. You giggled manically again before slipping on your hiking boots, and making your way tentatively downstairs, wincing with each step. You were so achy, you hoped to goodness they wouldn't just have you start teaching straight off. 

You decided immediately that Sans was the most adorable person you had ever seen sleeping. He was cuddled into the couch, his head on the arm cushion. A light snore escaped him now and again, and he shifted before turning to look at you.

 _No_. Nevermind adorable, he was sexy as hell.

"i'm starting to get the feeling that you're the kind of person who likes to catch others in moments of vulnerability." The statement threw you off, and you cocked your head at him. "What?" 

He blushed slightly. "forget about it. are you ready to go?" You nodded feeling yourself blush as well. 'What was that about?'

You both headed out the door before your stomach rumbled, and you grabbed it, looking at him sheepishly. He snickered. "don't worry, they usually have breakfast food in the office." 

You furrowed your eyebrows slightly. "How would you know that?" Sans just looked at you as though it should be obvious. "i work there. mainly just answering phone calls, issuing visitor passes, providing bandaids to little kids." He looked pointedly at your bandaged cheek, and you felt them light up and burn. "I am not a little kid!"

He grinned a shit eating grin, and you felt an insult coming. "no you're not. kids don't get in half the accidents you do." You huffed deeply in frustration pouting. "kids also don't make faces like that." Your pout got deeper as your lip protruded. "I hope your face falls off."

He chortled. "real mature nerd."

You whipped your head at the second use of the new nickname. "Why are you calling me that?" He grinned some more. "all that talk of paleontology. you got really into it. you're obviously a nerd." You would've retorted, but you stood in front of a similar dark slit from two nights ago that hung ominously along the path of the sidewalk.

"What's that?" Sans sighed, losing his amused look from a few seconds ago. "i really wish you would stop questioning everything i do." You looked at him with a growing awareness that you were going to have to pry to get any information out of him. He sighed again, realizing you weren't going to back down without an explanation. "they're my shortcuts. I can use magic to get places faster. must be because my laziness manifested itself." 

You stared in wonder at the 'shortcut', noting the faded black edges that looked like dark, ever shifting, lightening. "It's amazing. I wish my magic was that useful." A breath escaped Sans. You turned back around to find him looking at you in awe. "let's go. don't want you to be too **late** to..." He looked in your eyes, winking. " **school mate**."

'Oh no he just didn't.' Before you could voice the thought, you were swept into the void Sans had created. It felt like you had been sucked through a straw before being spat out the other side, smelling strongly of magic and smoke. Sans was already walking ahead of you, turning to look back at you briefly. "com'on, tori is probably in the office right now." You hurried after him, feet crunching the snow underneath you. 

You reached the office, welcoming the warmth. Inside there were several adult monsters gathered around a box of donuts, conversing. You immediately felt out of place before spotting Toriel. She was dressed nicely, in a finer robe than the previous night with a string of pearls around her neck. 

"Oh hello Sans." She waved at the skeleton who was already making himself comfortable in a seat towards the front, putting his feet on top of the desk. Toriel shook her head, laughing delicately. "Are you ready to start teaching _____?" Toriel looked at you expectantly, and while every part of you screamed 'Hell to the no', you knew this might be your only chance to get a decent job, so you nodded and smiled politely. 

Toriel smiled back. "Good, let me show you your classroom. Classes begin in ten minutes, but the lesson is pretty straightforward. They will be finishing up some worksheets from the week prior, and then they have free time." You nodded the whole way, taking it all in. It was weird getting thrusted into this out of nowhere. You would definitely have to come up with lesson plans which did beg the question--

"What grade are the kids?" Toriel looked at you in amusement. You felt your stomach drop--this was going to be good. "The monster children aren't separated by age, but by ability. You will be teaching science to those of beginning levels though, so most are young." You could feel yourself rise a few inches off the ground, anxiety climbing to new levels. You managed to make it to the classroom without incident, and you took in the lab setting. It wasn't quite like your lab at the college, but something gave you a sense of familiarity. You relaxed. 

"Here's the worksheets they will be working on. I will come by a few times to check on you, and I'm right next door if you need me." Toriel waved a short goodbye before stepping out so you could go over the worksheets. It looked elementary, if you dared to make that pun (curse Sans). You were tentatively excited before the bell rang for first period. You looked at the schedule pasted on the door. There was five periods, for five classes--math, language arts, science, magic, and a history class. 

"Are you our new teacher?" A small monster kid was standing in the doorway with a colorful backpack dangling from his paws. You nodded, smiling. You wrote your last name on the board as everyone filed in, and you explained the days activities, stopping to introduce yourself. The kids actually appeared relieved that they wouldn't being doing anything too intensive, and worked quietly on the worksheets, having a few minutes of free time before the end of class. You spent much of the time answering questions, and simultaneously planning the next days lesson. You were surprised at how fun it was. 

You worked like this most of the day, stopping to take a break at lunch time. Toriel stepped in to give you a salad, and you declined the snails she offered. Yeah, you were going to use your first paycheck to buy clothes, get real food, and pay back the whole gang for their hospitality. You might as well wave it goodbye now. Before the last period of the day, you tidied up the room a bit. 

"Miss, there's a fight out in the hallway!" You heard a shrill voice yell at you, before small hands tugged you from the classroom. There you saw a yellow armless kid smacking a young human kid with their tail. The human kid wasn't just taking it either, they were punching their fists against the monster kids head. Huh, well this was new. 

You split the two up by grabbing them both by the shoulder. You didn't really know what to do with them, so you thought of Sans, and took them to the office. On the way, they were still fighting, and you couldn't make sense of any of it.

"I never left you that Frisk!"

The human child gestured something that looked like the bird at the monster kid, and they both fell silent. You awkwardly stood in the doorway of the office, both kids limply held in your grip. Sans was at his desk, head in his arms asleep. Yeah...that looked like the life. 

"Sans..." You said in a normal voice before yelling his name, causing him to jump. "Sans! I need your help!"

Sans looked at you blearily, before shock settled on his face upon seeing the two kids. "frisk? m.k.? what are you doing here?" 

The two didn't answer, so you did it for them. "These two were out in the hallway fighting." 

Sans raised his eyebrows (bonebrows?), but turned to lecture the two children. "you guys were friends. what happened?" The two looked bashful, but didn't speak up. Sans sighed, pointing towards the chairs along one side of the office. "sit there while i get a hold of your parents. tori isn't going to be happy frisk." The human child who must have been Frisk sunk into the seat, looking at the floor. 

Sans led you out of the office. You looked at him, and whispered a 'thank you' before making to head back to your classroom. Sans stopped you however, grabbing your wrist, his touch sending the same electric shocks from earlier surging outwards, speeding up your heart-rate. "hey can you wait a minute?" 

You looked at him, seeing him side glancing at the office uncomfortably. He coughed a bit before turning his eyes to you. "would you mind going with me later? i talked with undyne last night, and we both agreed it would be best if i take over your magic training, since it's easier for me to stop you than pap or her." 

Your heartbeat was pounding out of your chest now. Was this a date? Could this be a date? Internally you were freaking out, but you nodded. "Sure, that'll be awesome."

Sans grinned at that. "didn't know you'd be that excited nerd. See you after school get's out." He let go of your wrist, sauntering back into the office, boney hands in his pockets before you heard snickering coming from behind you. Some of the kids had viewed the whole exchange. You glared at them, and they rushed to their respective classrooms. 

Yeah, you could get used to this whole teaching thing. It was kinda cute when they feared you. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that happened ;D Please send me requests. Lurv me. 
> 
> A/N: There are five types of vertebrae in most mammals. In order there are the cervicals, the thoracics, the lumbar, the sacrum (which are most often fused), and the caudal. We humans have our caudals, or tail fused into the coccyx however. Just a little anatomy lesson tee hee.


	8. The Night You Ate a Part of Sans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry my bebes. I've been mildly depressed, and way too highly busy to write in a manner that you lovelies deserve. I promise though that this story is entirely planned out. :D So bebes let the crack recommence!!!

You finished up your last period of the day with no interruptions, which you were thankful for. You let out a sigh of relief as the kids left your classroom, gossiping animatedly with each other. They were intrigued by the fight that had took place, apparently the two kids were popular. You wondered about that for a while, before you heard a low tapping on your door. 

"Come on in!" You shouted from your desk, spinning around in the swivel chair. It was such an unexpected perk, most of the time as a graduate student you had to resort to sitting in wooden chairs that left you aching. The thought of sitting in one now made your sore muscles clench up. 

"I'm so sorry that I'm bothering you after hours." Toriel stood in the doorway, holding the hand of Frisk. You could see small tear trails on their cheeks, and your heart panged. They looked so remorseful; you couldn't really be mad with them about earlier. "I'm sorry about you having to deal with my child this afternoon. They have come to apologize." Toriel looked down at Frisk, who lifted their head and hands, making a few nonsensical gestures before they looked down at the floor again. 

You cringed inwardly at your lack of understanding of sign language. "Sorry, I didn't learn sign language." You looked at Toriel. "Are they deaf?" 

Toriel shook her head. "No, they are mute." Toriel looked fondly down at Frisk who shifted uncomfortably on their feet. "They have been since I met them." You nodded in understanding. 

"Well Frisk, don't worry, I forgive you. Can you tell me why you and your friend were in a fight though?" You recalled that Sans had said the two kids had been friends.

At this, Frisk just shrugged. Toriel sighed, turning back to you shaking her head. "They won't tell me either. I tried asking M.K., but he also said nothing. It'll just have to come out on its own." Toriel smiled ruefully, squeezing Frisk's hand. It was obvious she loved the kid greatly even though it was just as apparent that the child was not her's. You didn't want to ask, and ruin the moment between them. Instead, you started gathering up your stuff. 

"Sans want's me to meet him soon. I hope you guys have a good day." You waved a short bye at Frisk who returned it with a tentative smile. You put your lesson plans you typed up in a folder, looking around for a bag you could stick them in, coming up empty. It was yet another thing that you would have to buy. You were probably going to have to come up with a budget. Ick, that had never happened before. The very thought of dedicating a few hours to the effort to curb your spending was gross. 

"that's a new look."

You spun around to find Sans standing where Toriel had been, but he was leaning casually on the door frame. His shoulders were slumped forward, and he was cackling. You just deadpanned at him, and turned back to gathering up the papers. 

Before you could grab the last stack, they were lifted from the desk with a blue glow surrounding them. You turned to glare at Sans who just smiled smugly. "go get them."

You pouted, lips pursing. "I'll go get you!" You shook your fist at him, mimicking Undyne's performance from a few days ago. It was rather hilarious apparently since Sans gripped his ribs, laughing uncontrollably while dangling the papers above your head. 

You huffed, crossing your arms while Sans looked at you expectantly. You raised your eyebrows before finally closing your eyes, concentrating on your emotions. Unlike calming yourself down, you tried to provoke yourself to fly. It mainly involved you screwing up your face, and squeezing your fists. Needless to say, it didn't work. Sighing, you thought of how you flew before. An idea hit you, and you looked at Sans, eager to see if it would work.

"Sans, I like your face." 

Yep, you shot to the ceiling. Aw shiz hell, that was hard. You rubbed your head, flicking your eyes down to see Sans blushing a cyan blue, his pinprick eyes eyes blown out. You grinned, as Sans coughed and returned to a more casual stance. 

And he quickly flicked your papers out the window. 

You cried out, watching as they disappeared out into the parking lot. Before you knew what you were doing you were following them, almost like it was a passing thought, cars and what few students were left after school below you. You even heard some "Go Ms.________, go!'s" below you, but you were mainly focused on getting to the papers before they completely disappeared from view. You managed to reach them, fingertips catching on the papers just at the edge of the parking lot. 

A sense of relief filled you, and you floated down smiling, clutching the lesson plans to your chest. You spun around to find Sans standing behind you, hands in his pockets. 

You pouted, marching towards him with purpose filling your steps. Finally before him, you paused taking in his look of sheepish fear. Then, reaching out your hand, you flicked him right on his frontal bone. 

"ow that hurts." He rubbed his forehead, the lights in his eyes flickering as he squeezed them in pain. He glanced towards you before you found yourself being roughly pulled towards a nearby motorcycle. How did that get there? 

"catch." You didn't have time to process before a helmet hit you in the midsection, making you wheeze. Glaring at Sans, you shoved the helmet over your head only to find it was much too big.  _ You couldn't see _ . Fuck.

You were too stubborn to ask the teasing skeleton for help however, so you watched your feet, hardly able to orient yourself onto the bike. Little to your knowledge, Sans looked on with mirth. You looked ridiculous, like you did most of the time. It was like you were an eternal joke, sent here entirely for his amusement. 

Something out there must be starting to love him. 

Finally taking mercy on you, he put a palm against the small of your back, and lifted the helmet from your head, allowing you to see beyond the crest of the forehead. Yes! Your sight was returned. There were more pressing issues to deal with however since Sans was now tugging on your shoulder, making it so he could sit in front of you. Oh no. 

You were going to have to hold onto him. 

Despite being carried by him multiple times, it still made you highly jittery to hug Sans from behind. You hesitantly put your arms around him, lacing your fingers together. Sans turned his head to the side, looking at you clinging to the back of him. "you need to hold on tighter." You stuck out your tongue out at him, blowing a raspberry. Grinning, he revved the engine.

There was a reason you had never learned to ride a motorcycle before. Frankly, locomotion terrified you. Your hair eating your face terrified you. The thought of turning into a pancake in a split second terrified you.

Blocking all of this out while peering over Sans shoulder was impossible, so you buried your face into his shoulder. You felt him start, finally letting out a shaky sigh. Your fingers gripped his jacket, and you appreciated the fur lining, burying your head further in it before acknowledging it belonged to a certain nervous skeleton. You loosened your grip, only for Sans to let out a weak, "it's alright". You stiffened a bit before tightening your fingers into his torso again.

The motorcycle continued on its wayward course until you were outside the city. You noticed that Mt. Ebott was looming closer, and the lights from the town flashed behind you, illuminating the back of Sans skull in a dim glow. 

"Where are we heading Sans?" He said something in response, but you couldn't make it out, the turbulence from the wind blew it away. You instead relaxed more fully against his back, adjusting your arms more snugly around him. He didn't tense up this time, but you felt some thrill in being more closely pressed to him. 

Finally, he pulled off onto a dirt trail head, on which he cut off his headlights. It was pitch black by now, with only the stars and the full moon above to see by. The trees around you moved with a breeze that chilled you to the bone. Sans saw you shivering, and dragged you against his side as you got off the bike. You were then surrounded by a blue glow which warmed you significantly. You looked to see Sans smiling down at you, and a cyan blush lit his cheeks. With the night sky in the background, he was so incredibly handsome. You must've made a face because he grinned nervously at you before leading you up the trail, a bright blue fire lighting his phalanges. 

You wondered absently how long it had took for him to gain control of his powers. He seemed so talented. It made you both respectful of him, and somewhat fearful of what he was going to do. If this was indeed a training session (and not a date boo) then why would he need to bring you in the woods? Why not the training gym? Finally your thoughts spoke loud enough that you stopped, wringing your wrists nervously. 

"Why are we out here, Sans?" He turned around to you, an expression of exasperation on his face. "why do you think?" 

_ Shit. ' _ Well Sans, maybe you want to kiss me out in the woods uh...' You squeaked out some nonsensical reply, and Sans sighed, closing both eye sockets. "just com'on. i'll show you when we get there."

You kept following him up the trail until you reached a clearing. Looking down, you could see the city spread out below you, and you let out a small breath of awe. You didn't see, but Sans smiled in relief beside you. Ever since you had mentioned traveling to different places (he had to look up the names, and was secretly amazed), and being a paleontologist, he had gotten the idea that you might like being out on the mountain surrounded by nature. It was his secret place, but he was willing to share it with you. He didn't want to dwell on that willingness too much. 

"Sans this is so beautiful. Thank you for taking me out here. I can't thank you enough." You spun to Sans, a smile splitting your mouth. You finally felt free from all of the underlying stress of the sudden move. You had been adjusting, but in all honesty, you didn't like most cities. They were too full of people, but the quiet sounds of the mountain soothed you.

"i'm glad. sit." He patted a spot next to him, plopping on the ground. You smiled ruefully before you settled on the grass. Sans turned to you, cocking his head. "so tell me more about being a paleontologist. now that you aren't  **bonefied** drunk." You let out a giggle before you recounted your tales, unsure where to start. You told him about all the places you had been, all the places you wanted to go. He asked about your schooling to which you scoffed. "Well it was interrupted." You gestured to the whole of you, and he smirked. You then told him about why you wanted to do paleontology tentatively, again unsure of how to word yourself. 

"I always liked animals, but I also liked geology too. I got into a research position as an undergraduate that was in paleontology, so that's kind of it." Sans beamed at you. "so does that mean you love bones?" You grimaced, acting upon your desire to smack the skeleton, to which he grumbled, rubbing his upper humerus. You glared at him before huffing out a "Maybe." You quickly changed the topic. 

"So what is it that got you into being a secretary at the school?" He blanched, before recovering, and answering. "tori offered, and how could i refuse such an **educational** experience?" 

You barked out a laugh, and looked out into the night sky. "So how do you think you're going to 'train' me, oh mighty pun master?" Sans grin grew wider before he hefted himself up, bones cracking. "i still have to get you something. hold on." Sans held up a hand, a single phalanx outstretched before he disappeared into another shortcut. 

You sat quietly, noting the wind whistling through the trees. You hugged yourself, bringing your legs close to your chest. You were starting to get scared of being out in the  middle of nowhere, in the dark. It was also cold, and that together with your wandering thoughts caused you to start to float upwards. In a matter of a few seconds, you were above the treeline, rising faster and faster towards the twinkling stars above. With no appearance from Sans, you were on your own. 

"_______ you have to calm down." A deep and familiar voice came from below you, and you looked down. Sans was below you, with a blue and gold glow dancing in one eye. A blue light the same shade as his eye surrounded you, and you came down slowly, surprised that you weren't slamming to the ground like before. Sans was clutching his fists together though, this had to take considerable effort. 

Upon landing, you whispered an embarrassed thanks to him. He grunted, stepping towards you. "here." Sans held out what looked like a cord with a small, glowing, blue charm. You slipped the makeshift necklace over your head while Sans looked on. 

Curious, you inspected the charm. "Sans is this a rope?"

Sans paused gauging your reaction, and laughed. "thought i would **lasso** you down."

You deadpanned at him, while shaking your head. "Just what does this **lariat** do?"

His toothy grin spread wider. "it keeps you **tied** to the ground." You cocked your head, and looked back at it. The charm pulsed the same blue as his magic. You wondered how he had made it, but it seemed too personal to ask. Instead you faced him with a challenging smirk.

"Alrighty, come at me." You waved you hand to signal him to attack you. Sans looked mildly shocked. "what are you doing?"

You put your hands on your hips in what you hoped looked like a confident pose. "You're going to attack me, and I have to dodge right?" Sans let a chuckle escape before he formulated a plan. Perfect. 

"yeah sure. uh...close your eyes, i have to set up." You closed your eyes obediently, and Sans was surprised at how trusting you were. Frankly, it made him worried--he wasn't used to this level of trust, not from anyone but pap. You fidgeted a little, and he hurried to finish putting sticky notes on the trees behind you. 

After a few minutes, he crept up behind you. Before you grew aware of his presence, he slapped a final sticky note to your back, jovially announcing "you can open your eyes now nerd." 

You did, and you were automatically greeted with a rainbow of sticky noted in the tree above you. The more you looked around, the more your stomach sank as realization sat in. 

"the look on your face just gives me the **note** you're not taking this too well. did my 'attack' **stick** too hard?" This one must have been a real knee slapper because Sans, overcome in hilarity, rolled around on the ground in laughter, clutching his stomach. You rolled your eyes, and crossed your arms. 

"So, I'm guessing I'm going to have to get all of those down right?" Sans stopped rolling in the grass to look up at you minutely, nodding. "yeah, you might wanna take off the necklace first though." You sighed, slipping the necklace off, and tossing the charm at Sans face which started another giggle storm. "good luck." Sans wiped away a few tears, standing finally to put his hand and the glowing pendant in his pocket. 

"I appreciate it." Sarcasm dripped from your voice, but you didn't care. Now you were more determined to prove him wrong than ever, and it showed. You floated a few feet off the ground while collecting the sticky notes, and made it from tree to tree. You noticed you were getting more tired though as you went on, and before the last tree you landed, exhausted, to lean and pant against the trunk. 

"givin' up?" A shit-eating grin was on the skeletons face, and you didn't even have the strength to respond. Instead, you willed yourself to fly a few feet to reach the final four sticky notes. Finally, you got the last one, and you landed on the ground in a heap, ready to drift off, the outdoors be damned. 

Sans walked up to you, and looked down, the same smug grin etched on his face. "you missed one." You looked back up at him. What could he possibly mean? It was dark, but he had chosen the most neon colors. You couldn't have missed one, the little trickster. You opened your mouth to give him a piece of your mind, but all that came out was a yawn. Sans look morphed into one of sympathy, before he leaned down to put a hand on your shoulder. "roll over." You gave him one last confused look, but did as he asked. 

"here it is." He handed you a single blue note with Sans characteristic chicken scratch written across it. 

_"i didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, but the moon was ~~standing~~  floating right next to me."_ Your felt your cheeks heat up. "Um...you are...uh...thanks." Sans rubbed the back of his skull, turning a brighter blue by the second. "uh...yeah."

Before the moment could get anymore awkward, you were swept into Sans arms. He stood and walked towards a newly formed slit. Your grip on him tightened. Now you could see why these shortcuts upset Undyne, they weren't the most pleasant things to get sucked into." 

"hold on, this one should be a little longer." Thoughts swam in your tired mind, and you had to ask. "How do these work?" Your eyes drifted close, and you barely caught his answer. "well they go through the void, that's why it's uncomfortable for most." The answer itched at your mind, but you didn't have the strength to formulate another question. Instead, you let yourself slip into a light sleep. Sans tightened his grip before he stepped into the shortcut, and came out the other end. Your bed was only a few feet away, and he laid you on top, snapping his fingers so the comforter covered you. Before he forgot, he dug in his jacket pocket, and withdrew the necklace. 

He held it up to face level, and stared into the glowing charm. If he was less observant, he wouldn't have noticed that it appeared dimmer. Alarmed, he looked frantically between you, and the charm, before finally letting his hand go reluctantly above your chest. He eased your brilliant soul out from your chest, he recoiled in horror. 

Humans that could use magic usually possessed white souls, ones similar to monsters, but with hearts that were right side up instead of upside down. Frisk's was an exception, but Frisk had always been an exception. However, yours was a pristine white, with only one blemish. In the middle was a blue fleck that seemed to pulse in and out of existence. Sans had been curious on how you would react to the small piece of his soul that he had given you, but the fact you had absorbed it...

He shook as he put your soul back. He hesitated before lifting your head slightly to maneuver the necklace on your neck. This was it, he was going to have to distance himself from you. Humans absorbing monster souls...it spelled trouble. Maybe he should warn paps? What if it was the best idea to send you to the dormitory? 

Shaking his head, he regretted the thought immediately. You needed a home, an it certainly wasn't where you could get hurt. As long as he stayed away from you...yeah it must've been the fact he had been turning your soul blue so often lately. He glanced back before he closed the door to your bedroom. A sigh escaped him, but in a way it was relieving. You had been getting too close, too fast. You were too nice. It had been...unsettling. No, he would rather stay to himself. The lie caused his soul to clench, but he didn't acknowledge it. From now on...he couldn't acknowledge you. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANNNNNNNNNGST TRAIN TAKING OFF FROM STATION 9 3/4 CHOOO CHOOO
> 
> Sorry, bebes XD 
> 
> A/N: Lesson planning has to be my least favorite part of teaching. Half of the time I wing it, half of the time I write out an immaculate 10 page essay on how I'm going to scaffold my students into learning the meaning of evolution. #TeachingLife
> 
> Love y'all. By the way, should I make a Tumblr? Is anyone interested in fanart or pestering me? I mean...like...that would be soooo cool <3 
> 
> No pressure. 
> 
> A/NNNNN: Also, when I go back to fix errors in the chapter, you guys don't get spam emails right? Because that would be awful, and unnecessary just to correct some really picky wording.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment! It gives me determination!
> 
> A/N: I realize that very few people know paleontology terms, so I am going to leave definitions below. As the fic continues, I will also leave anatomy terms below. I am a future paleontologist and teacher, but if I get stuff wrong or you want me to clarify, let me know. I really appreciate y'all!
> 
> Life through Time: It's a class that teaches about animal groups in the past.  
> Megafauna: Big mammals, such as the modern day rhino or the mammoth.


End file.
